I think I assumed that since I feel like I spend so much of my spare time doing nothing, that I would be able to focus my creative energies and spew forth something of epic literary proportions. However, breaking old habits is often more difficult when you don't even recognize what you are doing as an old habit; in this case, it's sitting in front of the t.v. watching nothing in particular while hopping around the Internet looking for social validation that, in all reality, I don't think I really require...anymore.
I was just checking my Twitter feed and I noticed that one of the people I follow (fellow Bruins fan http://twitter.com/anadeau ) had a great idea about posting blogs consisting of people's journeys, which naturally got me thinking about mine, and that in turn, lead me to the startling (to me, anyway) realization that this decade is over in 23 days. My internal archivist started recollecting what huge changes I've gone through over the last 10 years, and whether or not it would be worth writing about. The short answer is: No.
The majority of this decade has not been my friend. I started the decade in a pretty horrible state of mind and it took a lot for me to get out of that. 1994-2004 were years of my life that, given the opportunity, I would do over in an instant. In flailing efforts to get out of the rut that those years put me in, I made a couple of poor decisions that didn't help my situation any at all, and set me back a bit. That's just what happens though when you're finally sick of "the shit," and decide that you need to dig yourself out. Besides...I'd been through worse. Far, FAR worse. The best thing about coming out of all of those trials and tribulations: I have pretty flawless perspective, I think, in so much as what's important and what isn't.
Now, when I say "flawless," I realize that it's all subjective as to what works for whom and other philosophies may not mesh well with what I think is important, but when I see some of the things that people are getting really, deeply upset about, and the way that they conduct themselves on a daily basis, that's what I get upset about. Well...that and when I can't find my wallet. That really sucks. Seriously. You lose your I.D. and the only way to get it back is if you have your I.D.? WHAT THE HELL? That's why I will be completely against a universal I.D. card that takes care of everything. You lose that, you might as well just jump off of a cliff, because you will probably end up murdering someone due to the frustration from having to get a new one. But I digress...
Like I was saying, I think my perspective has finally been developed into something that works for me, and in turn that has led me to have a little more belief in myself and what I can accomplish. As I've said, I know that I'm not living my ideal existence, but I'm definitely doing a helluva lot better than I was, and that's pretty damn good enough for me. Some people in the past have seen that as complacency. I've chosen to not listen to them. A couple of whom I shut out completely. At this point in my life, you're either on the bus, or on the curb.
And yes, I'm fully aware in this picture I am punching Life in the junk. What can I say? Sometimes you have to take a "by any means necessary," attitude with things.
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